Believe it or not, it’s not easy being a dick, considering all of the hardships that you put him through. Even though you’re lazy, he has to constantly do push ups. Even though you’ve lost all sense of chivalry and stay sitting down when a pretty girl walks into the room, he will stand up immediately like a gentleman. You abuse him by strangling him every day and you make him fall asleep with booze every night. Then you’re surprised when he’s too tired to work!